Little Fuzzy Kitty

Being up since 3:15 am and not being able to nap, in a moment of clarity sitting on my patio sipping coffee, I came up with this poem about my cats...

Little Fuzzy Kitty

Little fuzzy kitten, with your furry paws,
Everytime I'm nice, you scratch me with your claws.

Little fuzzy kitten, you're such a hairy bitch,
I really. miss my dog, maybe I should switch.

Little fuzzy kitten, you're such a pain to me,
I should get a German Sheppard, maybe then you'd see.

Little fuzzy kitten, chompin' on my plants,
When I awake and find your yak, it makes me go into rants.

Little fuzzy kitten, pissing out of your box,
I just may take you on a hike, and feed you to a fox.

The End

Cat Dynasty, Episode 2 - How ta Handle a Bad Hair Day

Yoda Cat

Cat Dynasty, Episode 1 - How Ta Keep Yer Kat from Squawkin'

My Cat... Beating Himself Up... Again

He is at it again. All I'm doing is touching his tail. He proceeds to continuously kick himself in the face... What. an. idot. I love this cat. LMAO!

Epitome of a Cat

One of those moments I wish could get on video...

I was in the kitchen making a pie crust. My son was at the other end of the kitchen and threw something in the sink. I must have spilled some flour on the floor, because at the sound of something going into the sink, my cat came running into the kitchen right on cue to jump in the sink and lick whatever it was. However, when the cat planted it's back feet to jump up, it hit the flour. Instead of going up, the cat's hind legs went forward and it fell backwards on it's a**! LMAO!! If I could have captured that on video, it would have gone viral. 

 You just can't make this stuff up...

Cat's Eye

Cat's Eye

Named a Storm After My Cat - Not Really, But the Name Fits!

The road I take to work everyday finally opened up today in the wake of Hurricane Sandy which hit over a week ago.   Now I learn that this new Nor'easter that is hitting us, they named it Athena. That is the name of my cat that is a complete b*tch...  Lovin' it! :)

 Video of Athena, the b*tch cat from Hell.  Notice how the other cats try to stay away from her...

Athena the b*tch cat guarding her favorite spot...  on or in a case of water...  really!

Cats Using Printers... Say What?

So I hear my printer turning on in the other room and I go to investigate. My cat turned it on and was laying behind it to get warm. wtf?

And that actually wasn't the first time I have ever heard the printer coming on, seemingly all by itself. I always thought it was my son or something. I was so surprised I didn't even think to get a picture. IF the cats want extra heat, they can pay the utility bill...  dammit!

 

Cats and Daylight Savings Time... They Don't Mix

My cats didn't agree with the time change this morning. I don't think their stomach's are set to daylight savings time...

Sometimes When You Want A Cat to Move... You Gotta Sit on it!

As I went to sit down at my computer which is in front of the couch, my cat was sitting in my spot and wouldn't move. So I sat on him lightly and moved around a bit. Finally he got up.  I sat down, he sat beside me and looked at me with a half asleep, half confused look as if to say "wtf?"

 

Sometimes, well most of the time, a cat would just prefer to be left alone

 

You know your cats have been having a good time when...

When your cats have lots of fun...  you get cricket legs.

The Cat That Can Open Locks - The Sh*t that I Wake Up To

So I awoke at 5:30 this morning and I wanted to get more sleep. I fed my cats so they wouldn't wake me up to be fed.  My one dumb*ss cat (that's is his official nickname now) gets fed in a cage, otherwise he will eat the other cats' food. He as figured out how to open the cage,  so I now have to put a clasp on it which he then figured out how to open that (don't ask how).  So I now have to block the cage door with the heavy cat food can.  Well, he found out this morning the hard way, that this is not always a good idea.

The cat that can open locks.  This cat can open that lock from the inside and get out when he wants to.  Except for one particular morning...

To his misfortune, I figured out how he can open the clasp.

I go to let him out this morning before going back to sleep and he is hanging there on the side of the cage upside down yowling with his paw stuck in the latch device. He had attempted to put his claw in the clasp hinge to open it and it got stuck in there on the outside of the can.  How?  Why?  These are questions that are too much to answer that early in the morning.

 So there is this cat hanging there yowling in pain with it's paw stuck through the cage.  Every time  tried to touch his paw or turn the clasp down to free his paw, he would scream in pain and try to claw me with his other front paw.  If I tried reaching through the cage to hold him still so I could work on it, he would try to bite me!  What a predicament!

So about the time I'm thinking "Ok, how the hell am I going to get him out of this mess", the other cats had come along and decided to join in on the fun...   Oh joy.  Since he was in fighting mode because he was in pain, the other cats took this as a challenge and began to try and fight him through the cage.  This caused him to move around more which caused him to pull his claw even more which caused him to thrash and scream even more.  WTF? 

Fortunately, in his twisting to try and get at the other cats with his hind feet he put his back to the cage door and I tried to grab him by the scruff of the neck to hold him still.  While I only succeeded for a brief second, this freaked him out and he totally spazzed and twisted and yowled trying to get away.  While in the process of doing this, his claw came free of the lock.  Tell me that wasn't a relief.  Because my next step after removing the other cats was to cut his claw off.  I'm sure he would have enjoyed that immensely.

Stupid cats.

Cat Beaten by a Piece of Lettuce - Yes, My Cat Eats Lettuce!

I've got a cat named Socks that will eat just about anything...  except blueberries.  He actually had this bad habit when I found him and it just seemed to escalate over the years.  If I drop something on the floor, he is there, waiting to grab it before it hits the ground.  This cat will actually eat lettuce.  If I drop small bits of my salad lettuce on the floor he will eat it.

Cat vs a piece of lettuce.  He wants to eat it, but is afraid of it because it got hooked on his paw when he grabbed it.

Just before I took this video clip, I peeled the outside off of a new head of lettuce and put it on the counter.  I accidentally knocked it off and when Socks ran over to it he reached out and snagged it with his paw.  However, it got caught in his claw and flipped over toward him and because is was much larger than he was used to, it scared the crap out of him. He ran and hid in the corner. LOL! In this video taken shortly afterward, he wants to eat it, but is still afraid of it and is very tentative about touching it.  Normally, it would be gone in 2 seconds.

Here the cat is attempting to eat the piece of lettuce that just scared the crap out of him...

Does anyone else with multiple cats have theirs fight over which one gets a good spot to sit in a window after you open it?  I mean seriously??  It's like kids saying "He's sitting on MY side of the car!"

You can see in this pic right after I opened the window, an immediate jockeying for window position began.  Clearly, you can tell by the cat's expression on the right, that it isn't going to take any sh*t...

As soon as you open a window, the growling and snarling ensues.  I mean...  go chase a mouse or something.

Cats... They Like to Use Kitchen Appliances Too!

So I walk in the kitchen and wonder why I see one of my cats stretched out across the top of the stove...   turns out...  I forgot to turn the oven off after making dinner!  LMAO!

Cat Manicures - Furniture is Usually Preferred

Having three cats, this pretty much sums up what my furniture looks like... even when there is a scratching post right next to it...

Cat Manicures by Mark Parisi  @ offthemark.com

The couch and chairs in my living room are terrible mess.  I know that lemon juice repels cats, but I can't spray my furniture with lemon juice!

Cats can really do a number on furniture... especially when you have more than one cat.

What is REALLY irritating, is that there are 5 different scratching posts/devices in the SAME frickin' room!  Dang cats anyway!

Cat damaged chair...  the only answer in this case is reupholstering...  Grrr...

My Cat from Hell

I just watched a little of a show that reminds me of my household... "My Cat from Hell" :)  We were just sitting at the kitchen table having dinner.  It's usually pretty quiet...   however, we were having chicken.  If you have never heard a gaggle of cats yeowing for a bite of chicken...  you haven't lived.

My cat who insists more so than the other cats in the house that whatever I'm having for dinner...  HE is having for dinner...

 

Cookie Stealing Cat Gets Caught in the Act

A day in the life with those damn cats: Last time it was my back pack, this time I awake to find my cat's a** sticking out of my kitchen cabinet as he was opening a brand new bag of cookies.... only he didn't get a chance to run this time! Muah ha ha ha...